You know the ones, the ones that talk and whisper: No one likes to mention the “D” word in mixed company. (Shhhhh…..) No one wants to admit it’s their friend getting a divorce. (Gasp!) Who are these people? Who are these people that look down at their friends going through one of the hardest things in their life and refuse to offer support?
You’d be hard pressed to find someone who gets married with the intention of “Well if doesn’t work out, I know a good divorce lawyer.” You want the marriage to work, but sometimes it doesn’t. A girlfriend of mine is going through this situation right now. Friends that she has known for years, have suddenly become insensitive. They have become judgemental. They have abandoned her.
With the exception of myself and a few others, these so-called friends have taken off for the hills. But of course they didn’t just skulk away. They had to leave with some parting shots said over the shoulder. “You should have tried harder”. “You should have been more sensitive”. “You have a child. How could you tear your family apart”? These are just some of the comments these friends said as they hit the highway. With friends like these, who needs enemies, right?
You know who your true friends are when you go through a monumental life change such as divorce. People pick sides, and they don’t always pick yours. For anyone going through such a difficult time, they need all the support they can get. Not a haughty attitude of superiority, of condemnation, and of overt criticism. It makes me sick to think that not only is my friend mourning the death of her marriage, she has to mourn the loss of several friendships as well. Why? Because people are so consumed with what they think is right and that their opinion somehow carries weight, never mind who it hurts in the process.
All I can do is be there for my friend. Be there for her in ways that others refused. Because she is my friend. She is like my sister. And whatever she goes through, I will be there. Because that’s what FRIENDS do.