Money seems to be part of every waking thought I have. I may not say it, but I hate having a credit card balance that I can’t just magically pay off. I hate that our emergency fund is not at an amount that I am comfortable with. I hate that our 401K doesn’t have as much in it as it probably should.
But most of all, I hate that I think about these things every single day.
There is not a day that goes by, where these things don’t bother me. I brainstorm ways to bring in extra income. I look around my home and cast my eye around for things to sell.
Can I just say that I hate debt?
I think about our financial status all the time. I replay in my mind, how we got into this situation. I think about what if anything, we could have done differently. I mull over possibilities. I marvel at new ideas.
The credit card balance bothers me the most. This debt, the one with the ridiculous interest rate, just kills me. It really does. I look at my statement and mutter to myself and rant at the APR.
I obsess over finances, and I wish I didn’t. I wish I could say that I’ll stop. But, I know I won’t. If I don’t obsess and think about money, I’m afraid the situation might worsen. Even though we are not the same people that we were 4-5 years ago, it doesn’t matter.
I am afraid of sliding down that slippery slope.
So I will continue to ruminate among dollar signs, and wallow in facts and figures. Because it is unfortunately, where I feel most comfortable.