It’s sad but true. I wish the shopping cart and I were on speaking terms, but we’re not. See, I’m a little peeved that every time I think the shopping cart and I are going to be BFF’s, I get stabbed in the back. Shanked, if you will.
So now we are just frenemies.
Why? Because, I am frustrated. I do everything right. I make a grocery list. I make a meal plan. I make a grocery budget. I bring whatever coupons I can use.
And then I enter the grocery store.
I shop. I buy what we need. I think, “Hey, I’m doing good here”. I’m making little check marks off my list. I don’t mind that the music playing in the store is a horrible mish mash of Air Supply and Barry Manilow.
I head to the check-out confident. My items get scanned, my coupons swiped, my rewards card accepted. And then the total appears and I want to cry. How is our bill this much? What the heck did I buy?
Stupid shopping cart. I thought we were pals. I though you had my best interest. Why didn’t you tell me that I was picking up things that weren’t on my precious list? Why didn’t you warn me that although blueberry waffles look good to me now, that I will regret them in the morning? I thought we were cool like that, shopping cart. I thought we had it like that.
But I guess not.
You are cold and aloof, although maybe that’s just your composition, since you are a metal shopping cart. But, whatever…
I guess we can’t kick it anymore. From now on, it’s like we never knew each other. No, don’t say anything. You’ve done enough.
I’m going to look at ordering my groceries online now. Yeah, I said it. ONLINE. Now what?
Wait… huh? Hold on… Okay so it seems I can’t order everything online like I thought I could. That’s okay. I’ll be back at the store, but we’ll be like two ships passing in the night. No talking and no eye contact.
You may have won this round shopping cart, but I’ll be back.
Because I need milk.