I was a good kid. A really good kid. Elementary school was a no-brainer and I never got in trouble, ever…except this one time. One freakin’ time for something I didn’t even participate in! Want to know what it was?
A food fight.
Hey, it was the 80’s. What’s a little Capri Sun spilled on your Alf t-shirt?
It was sixth grade and me and my gal pals were sitting at one end of the table and the boys were sitting at the other end of the table. There was some smack talking going on, as much as any 12 year-olds could muster. Not sure how it started, but a chip was thrown. Then another. Then fruit. Then anything not nailed to the table.
It was a free for all, full on food fight.
Did I participate? No. I was laughing too hard at the whole thing, because it really was funny.
But you know who didn’t think it was funny? The lunch monitors. They grabbed a handful of kids, including my BFF, and hauled them off to the office. The rest of us, when lunch ended went back to class.
Imagine my surprise, when 10 minutes into class, an office aide walks into our class and summons my teacher. Some whispering happens between them and all of a sudden, my teacher says in front of everybody, that the vice principal wants to talk to me. Oh. My. Gosh. She said it in front of EVERYBODY! I was dying of embarrassment! I am sure my face was about 3 degrees of red as I walked out the door with the office aide.
Now, our vice-principal was no peach. Let’s just say, she is not one of those that goes into the teaching profession because she genuinely likes and wants to help kids. Quite the opposite.
I get to the wicked witch’s office and she says to me, “Mackenzie do you know why you’re here?”
Why do adults ask this question? We’re not stupid, you know.
I told her that no, I have no idea. She then proceeds to try to stare me down. I stare back. She begins to get flustered and then says that she knows I was part of the food fight and that one of the lunch aides identified me and said I was friends with my BFF who also was in trouble for the food fight.
Are you kidding me? I’m in trouble for guilt by association???
The wicked witch continues to say that she knows that I personally didn’t throw any food, but because I didn’t REPORT IT, I am in trouble along with the rest of my friends.
I argued with the woman, but to no avail. I couldn’t get out of detention.
So I was sent to the kindergarten area to pick up trash along with my friends who were already out there. Some girls were crying. Some of the guys were using language fit for a sailor. But everyone was kinda worried about what their parents were going to say.
I got home that afternoon and told my dad what happened. To be honest, I didn’t know what his reaction would be because I’d never got in trouble at school before. Luckily, he wasn’t mad and he didn’t like the
witch vice principal either. Seriously, there is a book about Oz that’s missing a main character.
So that’s my story. See what happens when you don’t report a thrown banana peel? 😉