Dear College Newbie,
In a few short months, you will be leaving the confines of high school, and starting a new chapter in your life: college.
Now, I understand that you don’t really want to listen to anything I have to say because I am an adult, and older, and how could I possibly understand what it’s like to be 18 because didn’t I start college like a million years ago?
It wasn’t that long ago, you little $&!^!!!!…
Anyways, like I was saying, some things are a bit different but some things are exactly the same.
Money: it’s the same. It hasn’t changed. It’s still the denomination being used right?
Look, I speak from experience. Sororities and Fraternities are awesome and yes, you get “insta-friends” and there are parties and events, and parties, and…
I’m sorry, where was I?
Oh yeah, sororities and fraternities… Yes, they are the cat’s meow, and yes I had a blast when I was in one, but they cost a lot of money. Quite a bit of coin, yo… And I don’t think that number hits home until it’s too late and you’re already in it. It’s not just dues you have to pay; there are events to shell out for, shirts, items, it’s mind-boggling really what you have to pay for.
So before you think being friends with Miffy and Buffy is sooooo worth it, think with your head and not your friendship bracelet, k?
Also, the people standing in front of the campus bookstore are not your friends. No, I am not talking about Miffy and Buffy! Pay attention!
I am talking about the people with the sinister smiles offering you a credit card. “It’ll take just 5 minutes to sign up! You have 5 minutes, right?”
No, you don’t. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
This credit card will be the bane of your existence. If you need a credit card to buy the latest clothes at the mall so you will look totally cute in class, just step away from the table. If you need a credit card to “feel more adult”, you are doing this wrong.
Signing up for a credit card should be a thought out experience. Not one made in haste between your “Intro to Medieval Classics” class and your “A Brief History of Rock Formations” class.
Seriously, those are the courses you’re taking???
I hope this info help you, college newbie. Just because when I was in college we still burned CD’s, doesn’t mean I don’t know what I am talking about.