The past can be a nasty creature that holds on to you, squeezing you quite literally to death until you are grasping for a breath, any breath that will get air in your lungs and a grasp on reality. But why do we let the past grapple with us so? Why do we give the past life? Why do we give it so much power over us?
The past makes us replicate certain behaviors, sometimes for the good, sometimes for the bad. Our mind says the past is a good barometer for what is going to happen, right? “Well, if XYZ happened in the past, it is probably going to happen again so put those walls up, put those defenses up, protect, run, hide!”
Some sort of conversation like that happens from time to time, right? But what if that conversation happens more often? What if it is a weekly or daily occurrence? What if you are caught in a cyclical cyclone of anxiety and you don’t want to be tethered to your past?
This feeling is something that I am familiar with, being tethered to my past. And I am working on untangling myself from the tentacles of yesteryear. And although it is going to be a long process, I carry with me the thought that every day is a new day. Every day is a day to start anew. We get a fresh slate when we wake up every morning.
A clean fresh slate.
I am working on not choosing yesterday.
I am working on choosing today.
Because today is what matters. The here and now. Being present and mindful is harder, it is harder than one would think. But it something that I am striving for. To be healthy and well is important to me and I don’t want to retreat into the hollowness of yesterday, of the past that wants to welcome me back into its bosom and suffocate me.
No, it is not going to happen again. Not this time. What happened is not me. What happened does not define me. What happened is the past.
And I am choosing today over what happened.
And so should we all.