I think Target and I are going to have to call it quits…
Look, I love this store as much as the next person, but enough’s enough. Something’s gotta be done. For the love of Pete, why can’t a person just go into this store and purchase what they came there to buy? Why must extra things go into your shopping cart?
Are there subliminal messages being sent to our brains as we grab a shiny cherry red shopping cart? The woman’s section right at the front when we walk in, knowing we can’t resist Merona striped shirts on sale. Or Hobo handbags, perfect for lugging my now empty wallet around.
I see what you did there, Target. Strategically placing items and sections knowing that I will be powerless to resist the $6 tank top and cute ¾ sleeve with just the right amount of buttons, cardigan.
And the grocery section? Forget about it. Frozen pizza, bags of coffee, a whole aisle devoted to chips? Helpless, absolutely helpless. “But it’s on sale!” Yeah, we’ve all said that line, sister. Keep it movin’. Justifying your purchase from this store gets you nothing but a sad shake of the head and a sympathetic hug.
We’ve all been there. We have all been there.
Make-up and cleaning supplies round out the crazy tour of the bullseye store for me. Method hand soap? *squeal* And they have it in grapefruit scent? Score! Lipstick in the color I totally didn’t know I needed until right this moment? Yes!! I’ll take it!
And make sure you toss it in the cart like it means nothing. “I totally just came here for the lipstick. Not sure why this cart is so heavy to push though…”
Dazed and confused, you head to the checkstand only to be rendered speechless by the total on the screen. “But I only came here for cat food!”, you say sooooo incredulously. “Why is the total so much?”
It’s that much because Target has superpowers. Superpowers only they know about. We are weak when we see that red bullseye and they know it.
Your best bet? Stay away. Stay far, far away. Unless you can seriously, and I mean seriously, justify why you have fish sticks, jeggings, and dog food on the same ticket.